How can counselling help?

Counselling for individuals

is a private and confidential space where you can share what is happening for you.

A counsellor's job is not to tell you what to do or give advice.

The process is to enable you to be heard and understood.

For some people, having a neutral, non-judgmental person to share their struggles

with can be hugely helpful.

After hearing your story, I may ask you how it is affecting your life in different areas

and your position on it.

I may ask questions to clarify the meaning you have taken from past or current events.

Often the way we behave has more to do with what has happened in the past

than what is occuring in the present.

As you are willing and able, we can look at what you your emotional brain has learned

from past events and how that may not serving you well now.

There are various reasons why people seek counselling, such as having distorted or limiting beliefs, needing help in the grieving process, lacking the courage and vision to step out into the person they want to be, or feeling overwhelmed by challenges and stress.

I will ask you questions to help you find ways forward that work for you,

clarify issues, explore options, and develop strategies.

By increasing self-awareness of your emotions and thoughts,

you can choose healthier ways of responding rather than reacting.

Counselling can be beneficial for significant life challenges or minor issues.

Couples counselling is differs from individual counselling when having two people in the room.

I am trained in the internationally recognised modality of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT).

There may be individual issues that you have brought to your relationship that are affecting it negatively. However, the first step is to help you identify the negative patterns

you have developed in the course of your relationship.

Sometimes, a small trigger is all that is needed to start an entrenched cycle

of blaming, shaming, criticising, withdrawing, or stonewalling.

Being aware of this pattern is the first part of the work.

In the second phase, we will look at what's behind these behaviours -

usually, the longing for connection,

to be cherished or respected,

however the coping mechanisms we have developed mean we end up expressing it in ways

that do not achieve what we desire.

EFT fosters honest, direct communication of our deepest needs and longings. It brings healing, understanding, and empathy to the hardest of hearts. It is a beautiful process that can reverse the pain and hurt from decades of negative patterns and cycles of behaviour.

Relationship Counselling:

I work with dyads in relationship/ family counselling, which means two members of the family at a time.

We will start with the most stressed dyad first, and the process is similar to EFT couples work.

We will work to understand what's underneath the miscommunication and heal the relationships. Sometimes, we are unaware of all that is happening internally for our children, parents, or siblings.

We assume and judge but are unable to reach them.

Healing families can include adult children with parents, turbulent teens with parents, and aging parents with adults. It is worth the investment.